If you felt uncomfortable or defensive after reading the title of this article, my hope is that by the conclusion of this post, you will have an understanding and, at the very least, realize that giving longevity to the element of the chase is not only counter-intuitive, but will prove, more often that not, to be a monumental mistake and a waste of everyone's time.
Cultural and religious norms have dictated the direction and infrastructure of courtship: the dos and the donts. The primary consequences that have been engrained into our society take center stage whenever the thought of deviating, or even rejecting, the cultural standard comes up. To be blunt, there is a long standing conviction, especially prevalent in religion, that a woman must wait until marriage to have sex with the man of her choice. This is the case for two reasons: one, so that she isn't thought of as a ho. And two, because if a man truly loves you, he will be willing to wait.
This is the most backwards logic I've ever come across. And here's why.
What first needs to be understood is that there is a thin line between genuine interest and playing the part. I'll give you some compelling insight to explain what this means. It will be extreme, but the general principle is what I'm trying to convey here.
When I was thinking about buying a dog, I had gone into deep research. I was interested in two breeds: The German Shepherd and the Siberian Husky. What I learned about the latter breed is just how incredibly smart they are. What stuck out to me the most about the Siberian Husky was their ability to discern when it would be beneficial for them to behave a certain way in a given scenario. In other words, they knew when to behave when a reward was waiting on the other end --- even if their behavior really hadn't changed at all. There was one example my research provided where a Husky could be disruptive and wild when at home. Of course, the unskilled dog owner would pay for a dog trainer to teach it good behavior. So the Husky would stay with the trainer a couple days out of the week and would appear to behave and show improved mannerisms as the time went on. The dog would be rewarded with all kinds of treat as a sign of progression.
Well, wouldn't you know, after the training is done, the Husky would go back to his owner, and after filling its stomach with Scooby snacks, would revert right back to its old ways. It accomplished its goal, then went back to what it truly was.
It doesn't take a genius to put the analogy together. Ironically, and certainly with no pun intended, I'm not saying men are dogs. Because truthfully, this can apply to females as well. What that Husky example explained is simple: Men will behave a certain way that is appropriate for the scenario until they acquire what they came for. To truly know what a man's intentions are, what they really want from you, you have to eradicate the mysticism from the equation as soon as possible.
Sex is the driving force behind all of mankind's lust. Sex is the source of wars, genocide, and the unlimited selection of Netflix rom com specials. Not all men you meet will only want you for what's between your legs --- but 99.99% will. Why is that? Because they don't know you, and you haven't given them a real reason to want to get to know you.
Forcing a man to legally shackle himself to you before having sex with him doesn't make you special or different. And it certainly does NOT weed out those who only want you for your body. If a man did wait until marriage, one of two things are true:
One, his other options were drier than the Mojave in July.
Or two, he erroneously convinced himself that you were going to be 'worth it'.
Both of these options bring up an even greater concern: you underestimate the power of lust and what it can drive a man to do. Getting married to a chick he has nothing in common with isn't even the most ridiculous thing he could do. As long as he has to spend his nights guessing what that thang smell like, he will say or do anything to get you to open up... He doesn't give a damn about your art collection or the fact that you love to paint in your spare time. But he will act like he does! He probably thinks that red blob on the canvas that you claimed was a rose is atrocious... But he will tell you that your the next coming of Michelangelo.
He will pick up when you call, listen to you ramble on for hours, then tell you that you're the most introspective person he's ever met. Unbeknownst to you, he managed to play an entire three quarters of 2k17 while you were blabbering at the mouth on the other end.
The point is this: until the mysticism dies; until you are no longer a mystery to him, he will never truly focus on YOU. He simply won't be able to. He's infatuated with the fact that you're unavailable and difficult to acquire. He's not infatuated with your extensive knowledge on quantum physics.
Waiting until marriage to give him sex may seem sensible to you after everything I've just said... But pay attention! Because here is where I will introduce to you what can only be described as:
Post-Nut Clarity.
This is the red pill smashed up and sprinkled across the serum version of the Limitless pill. Post Nut Clarity is what happens after a man finally gets in them draws and busts his load. His mission, after months of dealing with your busted art collections and dry ass phone conversations, has come to an end... And once it has, everything --- and I mean everything --- comes rushing back into his head at 100MPH. He suddenly realizes that your sense of humor wasn't all that great; he reflects back and remembers that time you left the bathroom without washing your hands; that other day when y'all hugged... Your breath wasn't smelling on point. Your attitude is annoying; that stuff you talked about concerning quantum theory... Shit didn't make a single bit of sense.
So after finally thrusting between your walls for ten minutes, he's left with one hundred questions... The first of which is the most important: what else did I come to this chick for?
He can't remember a god damn thing about you, and it isn't entirely his fault. His judgement was clouded by lust. He was on autopilot. Because you refused to just get the sex out of the way, he had to turn on cruise control until seven months went by. By the time he tuned back in, he's got your legs in the air wondering where's at. Now, here's the crux of this whole article:
This does not change just because you got married!
A man will walk through the valley of death if it meant premium pussy was on the other side. Yes, his cruise control can steer him right to the alter. Then, after tying the knot and busting it down a couple hours later... He will wake up and the Post-Nut Clarity process will take place. A man's decisions and perception sharpen exponentially during this stage and just as I mentioned above, what he truly thinks of you will flood his thoughts --- and he will be surprised at what he learns himself!
You may be thinking, well how do I avoid being looked at as 'easy' or 'hoe-ish' if I don't hold out for a while?
Well, it really comes down to this. It's all right to keep it from him while you go through the vetting process. Making sure he isn't crazy, or has a secret family that you don't know about, any of that wild stuff that comes across the table these days. But after you two get to the stage where sex is pretty much the only thing left to get out the way --- and you know when that time is --- get it out the way! If you truly were a compelling and interesting person, Post-Nut Clarity will not penetrate the wall of wifey material!
All the things he thought of you will last through the adrenaline rush. The lust will die off, but his feelings for you will remain in place... It will be solid proof that you aren't a stick in the mud; proof that you carry top notch qualities so that even after getting the box, he knows what he has and refuses to leave you up for grabs. That's a true testament to you as a person, as a woman. If he behaves differently after smashing, you still got your answer. If he thinks you're a ho afterwards --- well, why would you want to be with someone who judges you for making a grown woman decision with your body?
Marriage doesn't make a man change his ways; if he was only after one thing, you will still find that out after putting on the ring... Only now, divorce is a bitch and the lawyer fees are too. Would you rather walk away after realizing he isn't the one, or have to go through hoops, tons of paperwork and maybe court appearances, all because old cultural standards said you had to wait until marriage to have sex?
Get it out the way! And once his lust fizzles out, it's as simple as seeing what he does afterward. Don't find yourself having to do this after taking on the title Mr. and Mrs. Idiot!
PSA: Practice safe sex! Use a condom! Please, for the love of god use condoms!
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